Dinhternet

so i have died.. but in my attempt to still win a prize.. i will tell you my story!

my boyfriend was nag­ging me to go eat with him and buy him din­ner.. he hunted me down dur­ing roll call and made me go take him out to dinner

while at eat­ing.. he gets a phone call.. i didnt want to eat in the first place and hes like “yeah im with sally”

so i was like.. who was that?

he said “oh just this girl in aphio that i know”

3 min­utes later as i was about to eat my chicken katsu.. i saw a knife attack­ing me and my boyfriend scream­ing “IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO KILL YOU!“

Best Kill:
So I could write this story from my own per­spec­tive, but that wouldn’t be as enter­tain­ing as if I wrote it from the per­spec­tive of Emmanuel Vil­le­gas, the house­mate of my vic­tim, Cherie Baker, because he wit­nessed most of my antics.

I vis­ited Cherie’s apart­ment 7 times before my suc­cess­ful kill. One time Emmanuel left the apart­ment for the bus, and I real­ized that they don’t lock their doors… the next time I saw him get­ting off the bus com­ing home into the apart­ment. At yet another time, I knocked on the door to their apart­ment, ran up the stair­case to the next floor over­look­ing their apart­ment, and Emmanuel answered the door. Not my tar­get for the third time… he looked around and no one was there and shut the door. I had to laugh a lit­tle at that.

At some other time I went to visit Cherie, and as I was get­ting to her door, I real­ized a cop had just approached her door. We both looked at each other and he asked me how it was going, and I said fine, went up the stair­case and pre­tended to call some­one, nunchucks in my back pocket. Her apart­ment was being too noisy, so I knew she was in there but there were a lot of peo­ple, so I was think­ing of ways to only flush her out. I had made a fake “Park­side Apart­ments” notice, telling her to imme­di­ately move her car or it would be towed. I even wrote in her name, apart­ment num­ber, and car license plate to make it more real­is­tic. This is when I ran into Emmanuel by acci­dent as he was com­ing back to the apart­ment. He wouldn’t give me per­mis­sion to come in to kill her, but would help me do lit­tle tasks. For one, he gave her the notice, but she didn’t even read it and put it aside. Next, my plan was to light a bag of crap on fire to lure every­one out. Emmanuel pro­vided me with the lighter, but I did not have 1) a paper bag or 2) shit. I thought it would be pretty ter­ri­ble if she had poop all over her shoes and then got killed in Assas­sins, but what­ever, any­thing for a kill. I only had paper tow­els in my car, so me and Emmanuel tested light­ing it on fire and it burned pretty well. So I was think­ing because there were so many peo­ple inside, I would have to light a big fire, so I rolled out the paper towel rolls so that it would cre­ate a long line of fire, thereby lur­ing every­one out. As I was about to do it, I started think­ing how crazy that idea was so I can­celled my plans and went home.

Com­ing down to the Sun­day when I would have to have my sec­ond kill, I just waited on the sec­ond floor over­look­ing her apart­ment for about 40 min­utes, watch­ing TV episodes on my com­puter and then edit­ing some video. (Her car was in the lot, I assumed she was inside her apart­ment and would leave for the meet­ing as a pledge trainer, so I timed it.) Instead of fac­ing her back and killing her from behind, she came from some­one else’s car and faced me dead on as she turned the cor­ner, and we both just stare at each other. After a good one sec­ond pause, she just yells out, “OH SHIT!” and we had a duel on our hands. She had chained weapon with a blade at the end and I had a katana. I was back­ing her up by prod­ding my katana at her, afraid she would just throw her chain blade at me, but she tripped on some­thing that divided the side­walk and the flow­ers, and was left vul­ner­a­ble on her back like a tur­tle. I felt bad, so I said “awwww” and I helped her up (after pok­ing her in the thigh with my katana). This shouldn’t be the best kill not only because I said “BOOP!” with I stabbed her, mak­ing the kill more embarass­ing and seem­ingly harm­less, but she had come home with Emmanuel.

So the entire week, Emmanuel was stalked to and from the bus, answered a door with no one there, found a stalker to his apart­ment, deliv­ered my fake mes­sage, gave me a lighter to start a fire in front of his own apart­ment, and was rewarded with being the only wit­ness to my bat­tle with Cherie.

Lurk­ing out at Quicklys at mid­night was my type of kill style. Even with work at 5:30am in the morn­ing train­ing at Star­bucks, I was reluc­tant to let my assas­sin off easy. Dur­ing this week, Alan Tang, who’s a stu­dent Star­bucks Man­ager at the ARC loca­tion has been help­ing me in prepa­ra­tion for the test. I trusted him, and I did, since he was my His­to­rian part­ner in Jaro­may term. Boy was I wrong. He calls and says he has this “cheat sheet” in mem­o­riz­ing the drinks at Star­bucks as I was 10 sec­onds from ignit­ing my car. I spot him, and run to him, with­out a weapon or any­thing. I was naïve. As I stepped one foot for­ward, he says, “I’m sorry” and whacks me with nun chucks. My heart sank like it did in watch­ing the Titanic boat sink­ing. I was in denial for a good five min­utes. I didn’t want to believe my own trusted part­ner would, –gulps-, do such a thing. And he replied, “Hey, I said I was sorry in the begin­ning o=)” Thanks EX-partner. Hmph.

It was a cloudy Fri­day evening when I, Deadly Chrysan­the­mum, went to Quicklys to do inter­views. As I approached the entrance of the safe zone I spot­ted in the cor­ner of his eye a weapon! I quickly pre­pared my weapon, an 8 foot long sword, but then dia­mond nun­chaku wasn’t try­ing to kill me rather just wait­ing for his tar­get. So then we had a con­ver­sa­tion but it quickly turned into an argu­ment and then the argu­ment turn into a dual of who has the more sub­stan­tial weapon! We crossed swords with a jab, a swing, and a strike! The dual was over and we were pant­ing so then I took a step back to feel a throb­bing pain in my spine. I was mur­dered and the last words I heard were “you’re dead give me your code.” and the sound of laughter.