Shameless Plug

I’ve joined another online dat­ing site. The con­cept is that guys only make pro­files, and gals make the first move. That’s pretty good for me, since I tend to make a pro­file and then never look at the site again.

But any­way, since I hate writ­ing about myself, who wants to make my pro­file page for me? I need a “head­line” (2100 char­ac­ters), an “about me” (1501000 char­ac­ters), and an “ideal match” (1501000). You could help me find my lob­ster! (I still don’t know what that means, by the way.) If you write some­thing for me, I’ll post it and keep it until some­one sug­gests some­thing bet­ter. (And this site gives me met­rics to prove it. In fact, I think a big part of why I’m even con­sid­er­ing a pay site is that met­rics feature.)

{ 4 comments to read ... please submit one more! }

  1. it’s a very down-​to-​earth dat­ing site. the only prob­lem is i doubt very many females are using the site since it’s new — no blog, no user stats, and very few twit­ter followers.

  2. i heard about the lob­ster the­ory on friends. phoebe says some­thing like lob­sters fall in love for life and then walk around with linked claws.

    your head­line could be “yea, i’ll do that!” i read it’s good to be positive…

  3. I sec­ond Michow. Sup­pos­edly lob­sters only mate once in their life and they stay faith­ful to that one mate.

    BUT THAT’S NOT TRUE:

    For more than twenty years, Dr. Jelle Atema of the Marine Bio­log­i­cal Lab­o­ra­tory has been study­ing lob­ster mat­ing behav­ior. He claims lob­sters make ten­der lovers.

    A female lob­ster can mate only just after she sheds her shell. Lob­ster soci­ety has evolved a com­plex, touch­ing courtship rit­ual that pro­tects the female when she is most vul­ner­a­ble. When she is ready to molt, the female lob­ster approaches a male’s den and wafts a sex “per­fume” called a pheromone in his direc­tion. Unlike a female moth, whose sex pheromone may attract dozens of ran­dom suit­ors, the female lob­ster does the choos­ing. She usu­ally seeks out the largest male in the neigh­bor­hood and stands out­side his den, releas­ing her scent in a stream of urine from open­ings just below her anten­nae. He responds by fan­ning the water with his swim­merets, per­me­at­ing his apart­ment with her per­fume. He emerges from his den with his claws raised aggres­sively. She responds with a brief box­ing match or by turn­ing away. Either atti­tude seems to work to curb the male’s aggres­sion. The female raises her claws and places them on his head to let him know she is ready to mate. They enter the den, and some time after, from a few hours to sev­eral days later, the female molts. At this point the male could mate with her or eat her, but he invari­ably does the noble thing. He gen­tly turns her limp body over onto her back with his walk­ing legs and his mouth parts, being care­ful not to tear her soft flesh. They mate “with a poignant gen­tle­ness that is almost human, ” observes Dr. Atema. The male, who remains hard-​shelled, inserts his first pair of swim­merets, which are rigid and grooved, and passes his sperm into a recep­ta­cle in the female’s body. She stays in the safety of his den for about a week until her new shell hard­ens. By then the attrac­tion has passed, and the cou­ple part with hardly a back­ward glance.

  4. Tim — you’re right, it doesn’t seem to be get­ting a lot of trac­tion. I’ve only had two peo­ple express inter­est, but both of those peo­ple were far and profile-​less, so I wasn’t very inter­ested in actu­ally pay­ing to reply to them.

    Michow and Peggy — Thanks, I did not know that.

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