Shadows And Regrets
I worry about my life.
I worry about when I go back to California, if things will be different. Well, I know they will be different, but I don’t know how, exactly.
It really hit me today that I really put my life into a holding pattern for six months by coming here. About two of those months have gone by. I haven’t really done anything. My family joked when I first came over here that it was like I was going to di tu, or join a monastery. It does feel like that. I’m becoming more and more distant from my friends and my old life. Will it be possible to just go back and pick up things where I left them? And even if I could… should I?
Graduating the way I did definitely didn’t prepare me for life, the “real world,” a career… whatever you want to call it. I just hope that I’ll have a better idea of where I’m going at the end of these six months than I do now. I’m seriously praying that I get into some sort of grad school. I might even take some summer school classes for fun when I get back to Davis. I do love to learn, but I hope I’m not just becoming a professional student out of comfort. It was weird going to school at the same time as Dong Ha. I shudder to imagine all three of the Luongs being in school at the same time.
Oh, and on a completely different note… I announced to my family that I’m going to be vegetarian. It was a big shock. My family, especially the Minnesota branch, loves meat. I actually was thinking about being vegan, but I don’t think I can give up dairy products, at least until I find another easy protein source.
So yeah… quarter life crisis much?
March 27th, 2008 at 23:30
So you can’t eat boom boom boom anymore??? Oh bummers
But that’s ok, your mom still makes really good vegetarian PHO!!! Right? I’ve never had it 
I WANT PHO NOW. Time to hit up the PHO GA behind my house. Yay ga!
March 28th, 2008 at 15:40
I think me and you are a lot alike; we both really like to learn, even when it doesn’t have particular relevance to “real careers”. I’m kind of worried about being a lifetime student as well. However, I have faith in myself that if I do what I feel is right, even if it hurts short-term, it will pay off in the long-term. I think the same is true about you.
March 28th, 2008 at 15:59
Your friends will be here when you come back! Also, when you’re ready to start the grad school application process (even if just looking for schools) hit me up.
March 29th, 2008 at 0:12
You, Me, and Jimmy are all the same. Life time students.
It’s good to worry about life. Worrying about life makes life worth living. but don’t worry to much. just do what you need to do. Have fun in the MidWest!
March 29th, 2008 at 12:53
i can’t really imagine you not being able to make it in “the real world”. isn’t it funny how we can believe in other people but not ourselves?
April 13th, 2008 at 19:27
I know how you feel, I’m only in so cal but I still feel really isolated from Davis peeps sometimes because it gets more difficult to keep in touch.
As for the student thing, I agree with Jimmy. I think you should do what you like to do. I miss academics and learning new things.
May 3rd, 2008 at 16:14
I’ve been feeling that quarter life crisis thing too. Even though you don’t feel like you haven’t done anything out there, I think moving thousands of miles away counts as something. It’s still a tough thing and you’re making the best out of it. Hope you know we all just wish you to be happy. If that means eventually becoming a professional student, then so be it.