The View

After talk­ing to some friends and my sis­ter and my mom last night, I was racked by home­sick­ness as I lay in bed, try­ing to go to sleep. Min­nesota is alright, and I love my fam­ily here, but it’s just not the same.

Oh, and speak­ing of my fam­ily over here… I really do love them, and I love spend­ing time with them, but some­times when talks turn to polit­i­cal or social issues at din­ner, I get really uncom­fort­able. The adults can be hyp­o­crit­i­cal, some­times even racist, and I don’t think they even real­ize it.

Take immi­gra­tion for example.

The adults seem to share the opin­ion that African-Americans don’t appre­ci­ate Amer­ica. Ong Ngoai has been going on and on about how Obama’s pas­tor sup­pos­edly says, “God bless Amer­ica? No! God damn Amer­ica!” over and over in his ser­mons. I don’t even know if that’s an accu­rate quote. But the other adults hear it, and they all say some­thing like, “If you don’t love it, then leave it,” or “Just go home.” They don’t seem to real­ize that most African-Americans have been in Amer­ica for so long, they don’t have any mem­ory of the old country.

Then it will turn to ille­gal immi­grants from Mex­ico, and they’ll say things like how Mex­i­cans are good-for-nothings who steal all our jobs and cause acci­dents by dri­ving ille­gally, and that we should kick them all out. Obvi­ously, “love it or leave it” doesn’t apply here. They can just leave, regard­less of their feel­ings for America.

When this comes up, I bite my tongue at the din­ner table. Partly because I know I won’t be able to change their minds. Partly out of respect for them, and respect for their right to say what they want. I just worry about what the kids are internalizing.

2 comments.

  1. Hi Dinh good to see you’re doing well.

    In ASA 110 (cit­i­zen­ship.. I think) we read an arti­cle about how many Asian Amer­i­cans self-identify their pol­i­tics as align­ing with white Amer­i­cans, specif­i­cally mid­dle and upper-middle class white Amer­i­cans. On aver­age, Asian Amer­i­cans’ salaries are closer to white Amer­i­cans than Amer­i­cans of other eth­nic­i­ties (except when we hit the glass ceil­ing, but I’ll get into that another day). This group of Asians don’t feel that they relate to or iden­tify with other eth­nic groups in the U.S. There was even a sur­vey (if I can recall cor­rectly, which I may not) in which college-aged Asian Amer­i­cans claimed they’d rather be friends with white peo­ple than with other eth­nic­i­ties because they’re “more like” white people.

    Any­way, I hate to gen­er­al­ize because obvi­ously Asians have dif­fer­ent views, but I think that some Asians who have attained a degree of finan­cial suc­cess in the U.S. (and thus have “lived the Amer­i­can dream”) tend to share sim­i­lar beliefs about other eth­nic groups as the rel­a­tives you men­tioned. It’s the whole “if I can pull myself up by my own boot­straps, why can’t you?” notion that a lot of (but not ALL, obvi­ously) mid­dle and upper-middle class Amer­ica believes in. I think a lot of Amer­i­cans who believe in this also tend to inter­nal­ize stereo­types of cer­tain eth­nic groups as lazy, good for noth­ing job-thieves.

    I totally under­stand feel­ing torn about rel­a­tives’ notions. There’s also the gen­er­a­tion gap, too. Of course I want to respect my elders and remain out of con­flict (it’s basi­cally.. never my right to argue with one of my rel­a­tives.. haha.. I’m the youngest of my grand­par­ents’ youngest) but it’s hard cause I’m also so opinionated.

  2. Sorry to write again haha. About Obama’s pas­tor— yes, it’s an accu­rate quote, but we gotta think about the con­text in which he said. He was express­ing anger over how the U.S. gov­ern­ment and soci­ety still doesn’t pro­vide equal­ity for Blacks. I think what peo­ple need to remem­ber is that there’s a big gen­er­a­tion gap here; peo­ple like Wright come from times that were much less tol­er­ant than they are now, and thus tend to feel more rad­i­cal than peo­ple in our gen­er­a­tion do. What Obama was try­ing to say in his speech is that although he firmly dis­agrees with his pastor’s state­ment (oth­er­wise he’d lose to Clin­ton for sure haha) he needs to con­sider that point of view also.

    And hon­estly, I just dis­agree with “well if you don’t like this coun­try, leave!!” What, are we only allowed in this coun­try if we fol­low and wor­ship it blindly? Please. No nation is per­fect but the first step to improv­ing it is rec­og­niz­ing its flaws. I love this coun­try, but I just think it needs some work— all nations do. I def­i­nitely don’t agree with “damn Amer­ica!” but I don’t agree with “if you don’t love it, go home” either. Whose home is this, any­way? The Native Amer­i­cans lived here before any of us did..

    /soapbox, haha

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