And not just because of me! (Since I will definitely be pulling the same shit on them Cau Minh used to pull on me. But that’s another story for another post…)

The Department of Education has just announced that they are rolling out an incentive program for teachers in “at-risk schools.” The program is awarding about forty-two million dollars this month (I’m assuming that the payout is annual and just happens to be this month, not a monthly $42M), and the average award to a single teacher is $5,000.

$5,000 is a lot of money. Especially when the average teacher salary in America is about $50,000. (And that is counting teachers with tenure, who are getting paid a lot more than ones who are just starting out.) A 10% bonus is nothing to scoff at.

Of course, officials are saying that there are “a huge amount” of safeguards in place, just as statistical analyses that are supposed to spot testing irregularities. Because that’s worked in the past. (Let me give you a hint before you click that link: It didn’t work in the past.)

Worst-case scenario… teachers actively help the students cheat on standardized tests to win monetary awards for the school and for themselves. Best-case scenario… teachers teach only what students need to know to pass the test, not what they need to truly understand the subject matter.

Do I sound jaded? Maybe I took too many AP tests in high school. Anyone who’s taken one knows what I’m talking about. When I got to college, I was so screwed, because the AP tests did not prepare me for college courses at all. And that’s with 5’s on every test I took.

I guess I’m going to take a detour with my rant for a second to hit standardized testing. It’s all a load of bullshit. It makes teachers of “core” classes artificially focus their courses. It makes penny-pinching administrators cut back on classes that aren’t tested, such as art and music. It’s just another hoop that students have to jump through to get ahead in life. Except they’re not really getting ahead. They’re just moving on from the bullshit they’re currently in.

For God’s sake, look at me! I’m a SIXTH year college student who got 1600 on my SATs and aced every AP test I’ve ever taken. I’m living proof that the tests don’t mean a damn thing!

Honestly, the American education system is a joke. Look at how we compare to other countries! Dead last internationally in physics! Third from last overall in math and science! The two biggest problems I see are an inappropriate focus on performance on standardized testing and tenure for teachers. Both have to be eliminated for children to do well.

When I have kids, I will definitely think long and hard about home-schooling. The only reason I don’t want to is because I know I’m already a product of the broken system, and I’m not sure if second-hand results will be any better.