The Chemicals Between Us

So here’s the story about Tommy’s sur­prise for us…

It all started one day of Secret Week when I got a ride home from him from cam­pus. On the ride home, he was talk­ing to Genie and me about how after he found out who his BB was, he would get revenge for all the stuff his BB had put him through for Secret Week. He would make his BB do a month of Shaolin train­ing with him. Includ­ing spar­ring. Tommy’s a big guy… most peo­ple would be scared. But that wasn’t even as bad as what he said next. He told us about how his big brother (in real life, that is) works for UCD PD, and he could ask his brother to do basi­cally any­thing. He could ask for his BB’s police report and class sched­ule and stalk him. He could even ask his brother to pull us out of CoHo for “ques­tion­ing” and then taser us for fun!

Fast for­ward to Sun­day night. Clint and I had just revealed our­selves, and one of the first things Tommy asks us is if we’ll be at CoHo and/​or the active meet­ing the next day. I told him that I couldn’t, because I was going home home for my mom’s birth­day. Clint, how­ever, will be there. So as Clint and I walk to our cars on the way to IHOP, we talk about the above con­ver­sa­tion I had with Tommy. We’re both a bit ner­vous about the next day. Clint keeps kick­ing the ground as he walks, mum­bling, “Fuck, it’s going to hurt like a bitch!”

At IHOP, we’re talk­ing to Tommy some more, and he tells us about how his brother here in town only has a taser, while his other brother back in SoCal has an air-​taser. (The prongs can shoot through the air at you.) And about how his brother used it on him before, pur­posely hit­ting Tommy in the leg so he would col­lapse into a twitchy mess. Oh, and about how he saved some of the snap-​pops that Clint and I gave him for Snatch, and snuck them under his brother’s mat­tress. (He shares a bunk-​bed with his in-​town brother.) His brother came home one night and crashed imme­di­ately, only to be jolted awake by the pop­pers. In retal­i­a­tion, he took some Mace and sprayed Tommy in the face/​chest. Clint and I just exchange wor­ried glances the whole time. As everyone’s leav­ing, Tommy again checks when is the next time he’ll see us.

The next day, Drew, Peggy, Clint, and I go on an excur­sion to Wish­ing Well on BComm busi­ness, and this story came up. Clint is look­ing for ways to fake a heart attack and/​or seizure in the event of get­ting tasered. We have no help­ful sug­ges­tions for him in that regard. Drew did have some advice, though… “Be sure to empty your bow­els before­hand.” Don’t want to make a mess of your­self, after all. Espe­cially since Clint had to drive a bus after the meet­ing. Clint toys with the idea of defe­cat­ing him­self on pur­pose, just to make Tommy feel bad. But then the idea of dri­ving around for hours with shit in his pants dis­cour­aged that notion.

I left them on that note to go home for my mom’s birthday.

Came back the next day and went to CoHo to find my sur­prise was lunch from Jade Gar­den. Appar­ently Clint got fed at the meet­ing as well. Good times!

… of course, this could just be Tommy try­ing to get us to lower our guard before he strikes…

Tags: Work